5 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Weight Loss Success

**Jim Hill:** Welcome to “Weight Loss And…”, where we delve into the world of weight loss. I'm Jim Hill.

**Holly Wyatt:** And I'm Holly Wyatt. We're both dedicated to helping you lose weight, keep it off, and living your best life while you're doing it.

**Jim Hill:** Indeed, we now realize successful weight loss combines the science and art of medicine, knowing what to do and why you will do it.

**Holly Wyatt:** Yes, the “And” allows us to talk about all the other stuff that makes your journey so much bigger, better, and exciting.

**Jim Hill:** Ready for the “And” factor?

**Holly Wyatt:** Let's dive in.

**Jim Hill:** Here we go. Holly, I'm excited about today's topic. It's going to be very interesting. We're talking about how to stop self-sabotaging your weight loss.

**Holly Wyatt:** Yeah, this is something that I see a lot of, and sometimes people don't even recognize they're doing it. People get in their own way. They sometimes make it harder than it needs to be or they do unnecessary things that get in the way or they do things that actually hurt them, not help them. And many times, like I said, they don't even recognize it.

**Jim Hill:** This evolving issue that you and I talk about a lot is weight loss’s hard. And I think we've stopped thinking of it that way because if you think of it that way, it's something hard.

You go and do it and it's over. And we think of it more as an interesting journey. And there are some things you can do to make it easier. And I think that's what we're going to talk about today. Maybe some simple things you can do to get out of your own way.

**Holly Wyatt:** Exactly. That's exactly what I want this podcast to be about today. And the other thing I want to point out is it's a little bit easier for people to point a finger maybe at others that are sabotaging. We can point out it's our spouse or significant other or our mother did this or my employer brings in pizza every Friday afternoon and that throws me off or society tells me this and that sabotage is how I think about it. I mean, we're pretty good at identifying maybe where there's other people sabotaging or other things sabotaging us. But we tend to have a little bit harder time being aware or recognizing that we may be doing some of those things to ourselves hindering obstruction of our own success. And the key is we can control that.

We don't necessarily control other people. So I like this topic because it's about what can I do if you're aware. And this podcast I think is about all being kind of being aware of what that might be.

**Jim Hill:** You know, blaming it on other people is sort of like being the victim. And we've talked before about that's not a great way to approach weight management. It's you're not a victim and you can blame other things, but at some point, you have to take some personal responsibility.

**Holly Wyatt:** Right. And I always say awareness is the first step. If you can't take responsibility of something you're not aware of, but if you're aware of it, then you have a choice. And you still don't have to choose to do it differently, but you could. And that to me with awareness comes that responsibility. And with that awareness comes that I could make a change if I desire and it's all about if that's what you want to do versus when we blame other people. It's a little trickier because I can't control someone else. I can't tell my employer don't bring in that pizza. I can try, but that may not work. So Jim, why do you really like this topic? What's exciting about this topic for you?

**Jim Hill:** Well, for me, this really points out what I think is a terribly important issue in our field. We've done a podcast before about the weight loss medications and how effective they are. And I think what that illustrates is there is real biology going on here. Obesity is not a moral failure. It's not a failure of willpower. But on the other hand, you can't blame everything. You can't just say, oh my gosh, it's biology, nothing I can do. And it's this fine line between understanding that you're fighting biology, but there are some things you can do.

You have some personal responsibility. It's not all behavior. Some people are genetically predisposed. We live in an environment that predisposes it, but it doesn't mean that you don't have some responsibility to change your behavior and take care of yourself. So for me, it's an important topic because it shows that it's genes, it's biology and its environment, but it is also individual behavior.

**Holly Wyatt:** Yes, that balance, that balance that we talk about. And that's, to me, the empowering part. If it was just about physiology, if you just said you could do nothing, I've got these genes, Jim, and it's true. You have certain genes. Certain people have some genes that make it more difficult. Absolutely true.

But if you just thought it was just about the genes and it's not, then you're stuck. And thank goodness there is some action you can take to modify, to work with.

**Jim Hill:** It's back to that victim thing. It's unfair. It's unfair. I'm genetically predisposed. That's not fair. Well, I'm sorry, that's life. And there are lots of things in life that aren't fair, but it doesn't mean you can't do something. There probably are some people that are so genetically predisposed, it's going to be very difficult. But for the majority of people, regardless of your genes, regardless of your environment, there are some things you can do to reach a weight that's acceptable.

**Holly Wyatt:** Yeah, to modify your weight. And it starts with awareness and then strategic action. And that's that responsibility part.

**Jim Hill:** So why do you like this topic, Holly?

**Holly Wyatt:** Oh, because I love that it's what you can do. You know me, I am all about this empowerment piece. And I love how you can take something where people say I'm sabotaging, you know, I'm doing this to myself and you have all the power to change it. And I like the idea of being able to have what I call shocker boo-coos, where people suddenly see something differently. And I think this episode, this podcast has the potential for some people to have some shocker boo-coos where they suddenly go, oh, I do do that. And then we can say, well, what could you do instead?

**Jim Hill:** So in this podcast, we're going to talk about the top five things we see commonly that people do to get in their own way of weight loss success. The big five that you can look out for, see if you might be doing it, and then we're going to give you some options of what you could do instead.

**Holly Wyatt:** Right. We're going to give you the pie in the sky. Explain it, but I love it, how we're going to bring it down and say, here's what you could do pie in the plate, practical stuff.

**Jim Hill:** Okay. So what's first, Holly?

**Holly Wyatt:** All right. Number one on my list is you face the wrong direction during the weight loss journey. And what I mean by that is you have the wrong mind state mindset. And I talk about it as a direction because I refer to it sometimes as cognitive orientation as a more scientific term. How do I perceive my journey? How do I choose to see it?

Which direction do I face? What is my mind state or mindset about it? And so the question I want to ask, because you may not be aware what it is, right? That's the point of this. You may not be aware. So I always ask people, what are your thoughts about losing weight? Now, you could put anything in there. You could say, what are your thoughts about becoming more fit?

Or finding a relationship? I mean, you could put anything. But since we're a weight loss podcast, let's put weight loss in there. What are your thoughts about losing weight? What do you think when that, when you first say that? And that's one of the the I ask my clients or my patients, what do you think about it? And what do you think, Jim? What do you think some of them say?

**Jim Hill:** I, you know, in talking to a lot of people, unfortunately, I think the first response is negative. I can't do that. I should, but I can't. I have to do all that. I can't do that. So it's approaching it anticipating failure, your turn toward the failure piece rather than the success piece.

**Holly Wyatt:** Yeah, almost a really high percentage of the time. I should keep track of this. People start the conversation. That means their mindset is facing the direction of what are their limits? Why can't I do this? Why should I have to? Sometimes they're just like, oh, I should have to do this. Or why do I have to?

Or I can't do it because of all these limits. And they put all their energy and all their focus and their mind thoughts toward that. And that is one possible cognitive orientation to think about what you can't eat, you know, what exercise you can't do. Think about that it's not going to work, that it's going to be hard as it can be. Oh my goodness, this is going to be hard. It's not fair. That's where the genes come in. My best friend doesn't have to do this.

I have to do that. And all of that is a negative kind of victim, like you said, or kind of a warrior. I also call that a warrior or victor, meaning I have to go to battle to do this. And it's hard and painful. And that's one mind state. And I always say it's real.

People say, but it's real, Holly. Example, a limit I have is I have limited money for healthy foods. And that might be true. Or they say, my family, I was taught to eat and I like high fat foods.

And I was taught to clean my plate. Once again, focusing on limits may absolutely be true. It's not about it being true or false. It's about where you focus your power, where you focus your energy, where you decide to allow and you have full control over this. Your mind to go.

**Jim Hill:** Wow. That's really, I think, important. We see so many people come into programs expecting failure and they get what they expect. And it seems simple, but look at it as what you can do. What's the good part? Not what if it doesn't work. What if it does work?

**Holly Wyatt:** Yeah. So instead of catching yourself and realizing you're facing the direction of your limits, you could. Here's an option, right? Here's what you could do. Focus on what you do want, what you can do, what you could do.

Options, possibilities. You don't have to do anything. You get to do this. You know, so the abundance and possibility and opportunity and fun and success focus your energy on that. And like I said, it doesn't matter if some of these limits are true. You just don't have to focus all your energy on them. And it does make a difference. Whether you argue for your limits or you focus on your possibilities, it's where you put your energy. It matters. It absolutely matters.

And we can do a whole show on this. There is good science talking about the power of positivity in mind state. There's good science talking about the power of a growth mind state. Instead of fixed, I can't do it. Fix mind state.

Not going to succeed growth with possibility that I could change. Great science on that, Jim. So this isn't just woo-woo.

There's science to back up this idea. So you can control how you choose to see your weight loss journey. You can choose to make it difficult, and it probably will be. You can choose to shoot yourself in the foot and make it not work or make it really hard, or you could turn and face forward, focus on what you want and make it easier. And if you don't believe me, try it out. I always say your best experience, you don't have to believe what I've seen or what's happened to me or what I've, you can do it yourself.

Try it out by changing that mind state and see what happens. All right, what's the second one, Jim? We, that's the first one. We've got, we got five of these. What's the second one?

**Jim Hill:** The second one is you try to do too much. Okay, so back to this idea of people say, oh my God, weight loss is lots of work. I got to put my life on hold. I've got to suffer.

I've got to sacrifice. Everything has to be perfect. And you can do better by making it easier. And again, that's the theme you and I have learned from working with lots and lots of people. It doesn't have to be hard. There are so many things you can do to make it easier. So don't go in thinking, oh my God, this is hard. I have to buck up and do it and be strong and put everything on hold. I think you can make it easier by being smarter. So again, it relates to the first part, Holly, of looking toward facing the positive and problem solving. And again, you have to live your life. You can't just go through and say, I'm going to put everything on hold.

I'm going to go and do this and then guess what happens? Once it's over, you go back to your life and your weight comes back because you go back. We're talking about permanent change. We're talking about things you can do. One of the things that I love is routines and rituals. So much of our behavior is automatic. You drove to work this morning.

You even remember how you did it. It's sort of a routine. A ritual is even more important.

And idea here is we had one person that started walking and she said, the reason I do it, I meet my mom every Wednesday and we walk and we talk and we catch up. And it's exercise, but it's also a ritual. It's more important than the exercise.

So tying some of these behaviors to making them routine and exercise is a good way to do it. So schedule it. So it's just this is Wednesday. This is what I do every Wednesday. And then looking at rituals of how you hook the healthy behavior to something that's more important, relationships or those kinds of things. They make it easier. A second thing is environmental change.

We've talked about this before. Unfortunately, we've created an environment where food is everywhere and you don't have to be physically active. Well, you may not be able to change society, but there are things you can do in your own environment. I constantly say, if you're hungry at night for a snack, you're probably going to eat what's in your cupboard. You're unlikely to go out and get something.

You might, but it's more likely you're going to eat something you have. And so the idea is to have things around that are good. Same way on physical activity.

Do you know where there are places to walk at your work, at your home, etc.? There are simple things you can do to help. And then another one is to change it up. We are more and more on this idea of if something isn't working, try something different. If you try this, it works for a while, then it stops working. Do something different.

We don't know everything about how to lose weight and keep it off, but it's okay to try some different things. And so this change it up idea rather than say, oh my God, I'm stuck. It isn't working. Try something different. Try to change it up.

**Holly Wyatt:** Try to change it up to see if it gets easier. Right? That's the whole point. If you're doing something, but it's really, really hard, I always say don't rely on that. You know, people like to tell me, okay, I've got strong willpower, Holly, and I'm going to grit my teeth and I'm going to get through it. It's going to be hard as hell, but I'm ready.

I'm like, oh, because you know what? Willpower may be here one day and then it may be gone the next. I would much rather be smarter about it and set it up where you don't have to use as much willpower because willpower runs out. It goes away. We all know that, right? It's not there all the time.

**Jim Hill:** A great example is studies have shown that willpower, you have more willpower in the morning. Okay? So you get up and you say, oh my God, I feel great. I'm going to stick with everything today. Then you go to work and your boss yells at you and things go wrong and you're just stressed out. You come home and you say to heck with it. I'm tired. I'm stressed. I don't have time to exercise.

I'm just going to go through the drive-thrus or order a pizza or something. So the idea is you can't bank on willpower. Yes, you need some willpower, but there are things you can do so that you don't have to rely on it. Routine. Do you have a routine? If you come home from a stressful day, boom, you'll automatically go for a walk or something. So you don't have to think about it.

**Holly Wyatt:** And that's a great example that you talked about at the end of the day. We know science, that willpower tends to go down over the day because you've used it all day long in ways you may not even recognize. So I noticed that about myself.

Where do I have my most powerful routines or where do I have the most routines at the end of my day? I know that's the most difficult part. It tends to be I'm going to make it easier. I'm going to be smarter. I'm going to put some strategic routines at the end of my day, not as many at the beginning because I do have willpower. I put them at the end because I know that's when it gets hard for me. So the awareness question, if you're wondering, do I do this?

Do I self-sabotage myself this way? The awareness question to ask yourself is, do you think weight loss takes a lot of hard work? Do you think it takes suffering and sacrifice and perfection? And does your life go on hold? And if you say yes to that, this could be an area you tend to self-sabotage. You could choose to make it easier.

And we talked about several ways, routines and rituals, changing your environment, changing it up. You could choose. It doesn't have to be putting your life on hold. And that doesn't work. That's the self-sabotage part.

**Jim Hill:** We have lots of data showing that doesn't work, decades of failure with that approach. Time to try something different.

**Holly Wyatt:** And Jim, I think an episode we should do in the future, because everybody wants to make it easier. And especially if they recognize, like I said, that they tend to believe it has to be hard and they, in my opinion, make it harder than it has to be. We could come up with lifestyle hacks, routines, easy little things. Do a whole podcast on that.

**Jim Hill:** And again, this is not the end-all-be-all. You still have to do a program. This is a way that you can make it easier. It doesn't have to be as hard as most people think it is. It's still, yes, you have to stick with the program. But these are simple things that can make it easier. Holly, what's number three?

**Holly Wyatt:** All right, number three. You're going to like this one, Jim. You talk about this one a lot. This is sometimes a harder concept, but I think our listeners are ready for this. Number three is you hide from yourself. And what I mean by that is you don't see your true identity and power. You believe you're someone that you're not. You don't see who you truly are or could be.

And that's that limiting, sabotaging belief, really. And it's really related to identity. So the awareness question I always have people ask themselves, could this be me?

It might be sabotaging. This awareness is, who are you when you try to lose weight? Who do you see yourself as?

How do you identify yourself when you're trying to lose weight? I'm the person who has all the genes. That's really hard. I'm the person that never loses very much weight. I'm the one that can't exercise. I'm the one that doesn't like vegetables. I'm the one that was never taught to eat healthy. Does that pop into your head? How do you see yourself? What's your identity, your self-identity?

**Jim Hill:** That takes some real introspection, doesn't it, to think about, on the inside, who are you? So many people get so hung up on their weight, they define themselves based on their weight. But we've seen people who can dig deep and say, you know, my identity is not a person with obesity. My identity is something else. And that's who I want to be, that person on the inside.

**Holly Wyatt:** And I guarantee you, everyone, that is true. Who you are on the inside is who you want to be, right? It's not these sometimes external identities that society has given us, or we've given us, or our parents have given us, or whatever.

And so it's really recognizing that and then choosing to unmask it and say, who am I, like you said, that introspection inside to see your real identity? So are you an exerciser? I've had so many people who started a program saying, I don't exercise at the end. They're like, you know what, Holly? I am someone who exercises, and I even like it, right?

**Jim Hill:** I think it goes back, I know we did a previous episode on rethinking success in weight management. And if your success is seeing yourself as a person that weighs less, that's not all that satisfying.

At the end of the day, that's not what we really want. We want to lose weight because we think there are other things that are going to come along with that. It's not just the value on the scale. It's how your weight is going to affect the rest of your life. So success is not necessarily that number on the scale. It's really an improvement in your quality of life.

**Holly Wyatt:** Yeah, that kind of comes out in this too. And really thinking about who are you? Who are you at your core? You know, a lot of times people say, I'm someone who struggles with their weight. That's who I am.

No, it's not. That's not who you really are. So really thinking about that, who are you? Not what society tells you you are, your friends, your significant others, social media, believes you should be, or believes you, you know, that's who you are.

Who are you? And the way I tell people, you know when you're getting there, because a lot of people are good. This is, like I said, this can be a tough one sometimes to work through is it feels good. It's like putting on a pair of jeans that was made for you. When you really connect with who you are internally at your core, it feels right.

It's a feeling versus when you're out there connecting with things that other people have put on you or you have limited yourself by that aren't really you. You've self-sabotaged in a sense. It doesn't feel good. It feels hard. It feels bad. It feels, ah, when you really step into unmask, realize who you are, your true identity.

Ooh, feels amazing. Like those jeans that slide on like butter, right? You don't have to lay down and zip them up.

I thought that's how old I am when I was in high school. That's how we got in our jeans. We laid on the bed and we zipped them up and you couldn't breathe. But now jeans have stretch in them. But you put them on and they just, oh, they were made for you. That's your identity. Who you were made to be.

**Jim Hill:** This is so important. Dig deep and decide who you really are. And you're not a person with obesity and you're not a person who has successfully lost weight. You're something else. Think about what that something else is. It's powerful motivation.

**Holly Wyatt:** Yeah. Think about that you're capable of success. Think about that you're worthy of success. All those things and, ah, and it's about possibility, guys. Unlimit yourself. About who you are. Ooh. So it's a little bit about cognitive orientation too, right?

Facing that direction. Who could I be? Those possibilities.

I love that one. For some of you, it takes several times, a long time to kind of think about this. Allow yourself to allow this to unfold. All right. Number four, Jim. What's number four?

**Jim Hill:** I like number four, Holly. You make it all and only about weight. Okay. Weight is all you think about. Success is that number on the scale. It's just about weight loss. This is becoming really critical now that we have, for example, these new medications that help people actually reach their goal. One of the things to think about is let's say your goal is to lose 50 pounds and you lose 50 pounds and nothing else has changed.

Is that success? It's not really about weight. People don't go through a weight management program just to lose weight. They want to be happier. At the end of the day, that's what's driving us. They want to be healthy because health is a part of happiness, but there's more to that. They want to enjoy their life more. They want to have better relationships. They want to have more energy.

We hear that over and over and over. When people successfully lose weight and keep it off, they talk about, I have energy. That I didn't have before. So focusing just on weight is not enough. You can make it bigger.

It is bigger. Yes, your weight is important. I'm not saying the weight loss isn't satisfying.

It is. But think about success as more than weight loss. Think about your body state, which is your weight, but also your life state. What's important to you?

Again, we talk a lot about some introspection here, but think about what it is you really want. Think about if you lose those 50 pounds, what do you want to be different? And you can work on those sorts of things along with your weight. It's fine to work on weight, but think about some other things. What's important about the weight loss? It's rarely just health.

It's other things. You can play with your kids or your grandkids. You can get out and take a walk. You don't feel tired all the time.

You can go out socially more. All these things are important outcomes. And weight alone isn't going to fix all those. Unfortunately, a lot of people think if I just lose the weight, my spouse is going to be kinder, my friends are going to like me more.

No, but you can work on those sorts of things. So we've said over and over, when you take on weight management, it's not about your weight. It's about reorienting your whole life. It's almost an opportunity to redefine who you want to be. Who is that person on the inside? And it's not just a person that weighs less. Think about other ways you can do this.

**Holly Wyatt:** Yeah. You know, like you said, it's not really just about the weight. And people sabotage themselves, shoot themselves in the foot by just slowly focusing on it. A lot of times I'll talk to people and I'll say, okay, you know, what do you want to happen with this weight loss? And well, I want 30 pounds off and they won't go beyond it.

And I'm like, sabotage, right? Because if you just say, I want to concentrate just on the weight and not other aspects of my life, not what I think that that weight loss will produce, right? And allow me to do, if I just put my blinders on and make it just about the weight, that will not be powerful enough for a lasting weight loss. So you sabotage yourself by doing it. That's why. So if you recognize that, but the power here is, oh, I do do that.

Okay. You can choose to broaden it. It can still be about the weight. You can, I mean, you can still have a weight loss goal. Absolutely. But it's weight loss and what else?

What is that weight loss tied to? How you want to feel? There's usually a feeling and experience that you think will go along with it.

And it may, but let's make sure, let's use that from the very beginning. Let's not just concentrate on the weight loss because in my experience, you are setting yourself up to not succeed. You're shooting yourself in the foot. You're sabotaging yourself.

You've got to think about it in a bigger, more holistic way. Because Jim, if you lose the weight and nothing changes, it's not success. It's not success. It's not success.

**Jim Hill:** And we want people to think about that. Think about, is that really going to be success? If you lose the weight, you meet your goal, nothing else changes. And for most people, I think the answer is no, that's not enough. It's part of success, but it's not enough.

**Holly Wyatt:** Yeah. And you can choose. This is what you could do instead of doing that, just making it all about the weight. You could choose to say, okay, I'm going to expand. I'm going to make it bigger. I'm going to think about the weight and weight loss and what I want.

**Jim Hill:** And that's where make it an interesting journey. Don't go into this saying, oh my God, it's going to be awful, terrible. I have to put my life on hold. Think of it as an interesting journey. Yes, I'm going to work on my weight, but it's also an awesome opportunity to simultaneously work on some other aspects of my life.

**Holly Wyatt:** And Jim, what you're bringing in is that cognitive orientation or the direction you're facing right there. All five of these kind of overlap, but you can pull them apart.

**Jim Hill:** What we've learned Holly over the years is the brain is an important organ in your weight loss journey. Yeah, we talk about diet and exercise. Don't get me wrong. Those are very, very important, but man, it's what's going on in that brain of yours that can really be exciting.

**Holly Wyatt:** Yeah. And we don't do enough with it. We just, we really do not use it to its full capacity. And that's what I think we really want.

**Jim Hill:** Okay, Holly, bring it home with number five.

**Holly Wyatt:** Ooh, and this is a good one. You're going to like this one too. You do it alone, right? So the awareness question. Okay, is this something that I do? Awareness is, do you have what I call super friends?

We'll define that in a minute. Super friends for support, accountability, and fun in your weight loss journey. Or do you say, I'm going to separate myself? I don't have those friends. I don't have that social support. I'm going to do it by myself.

Once again, it's a little bit of grip my teeth. I have to do it by myself, poor me victim. But I think finding, and you can, your super friends, you don't have to do it alone. You can find other people to add to your journey if you don't have them currently.

Is something that's really important for success. And it's a way that people tend to sabotage themselves if they don't have super friends. Now, let me give you a definition of a super friend before we, we give some other examples.

So a super friend is someone who can talk to you, support you in your journey. What's best for you has great intention and sometimes tells you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear. So they have a little bit of that, but it always comes because they want what's best for you.

They are 100% supportive. And a lot of times a super friend is on a similar journey, not exactly the same. We're never on the same journey, but a similar journey. And you can share in that journey, but you also can talk to each other, not and just agree with each other, but really help each other by telling sometimes what you need to hear. A good super friend sometimes will say, Holly, you know what, this is important to you.

Maybe that's slipping. You say you're giving some excuses, but let's remember why you want to do this, right? Because they want me to succeed. So surrounding yourself with people, super friends, people on similar journeys, I think is important.

That's what you could do. And a lot of people try to do it alone, and that can be sabotaging, self-sabotaging. So you talk about social environment, Jim. Why don't you add a little bit in here about the power, the science really behind who you hang out with?

**Jim Hill:** Yeah, researchers have actually done some studies here where they find out, and it may not be too shocking, but people who hang out together, if you would look at your social network, and we can basically define that as the people you interact with most frequently. What these researchers found is that people in the same social network tended to weigh the same.

Isn't that interesting? Now, does that mean that social networks are contagious, that you're catching everything? I think the simple explanation here, Holly, is that we tend to behave the same way that people we hang out with behave. So if you're hanging out with a group of people that aren't doing the right things, they're overeating, under exercising, whatever, it's quite likely that you're going to do those same sorts of behaviors. We both lived in Colorado for a long time, and what we saw in Colorado was the opposite. People would be pulled into social networks of activity and healthy eating. It's sort of like you moved to Colorado and you might not be a great outdoors exerciser, but the people you hang out with do it.

I'm pretty sure you're doing it. So this idea that who you hang out with is going to influence your behavior. Now, what we're not saying is don't give up your friends or your family necessarily, but we're saying look to spending time with people that are doing the things that you value, and what we've seen over time is people change that. It's sort of like I used to hang out with the guys that went out for beer and pizza three nights a week, and I realized that that's why I gained 50 pounds, and I'm still friends with them, but now I spend time with people that are exercisers, other kinds of things. So who you hang out with can very much influence your behaviors and ultimately your weight.

**Holly Wyatt:** Yeah. So what you could do if you recognize that you tend to try to do it alone or that you don't have your social network isn't a supportive social network. In terms of support, I mean doing the behaviors you're trying to do. If you're trying to eat a certain way or exercise, or for my case, what I really look at is my mind state. I want to hang out, rub elbows, live life with a group of people who think they might have this mind state, right, of abundance and positivity and all of that, because that's contagious too.

So all these things we're talking about, I'm going to find those people. You don't have to do it alone. You could find super friends. You could find other people who are on similar journeys. You could find people that have the mind state you want to have and include them, add them to who you hang out with, and that is something that you can actually do. It's an action step.

**Jim Hill:** Well, we talk about with the internet now it's easy to find different groups. So here in Birmingham, if I wanted to go cycling with the group, I can go on the internet and find there's a cycle ride here or there. So it's easy enough to look and find people that are doing those kinds of things. And again, what we encourage you to do is to explore.

You say, well, I don't know if I'd like to go on bike rides or not. Try it and see. Try hooking up with some of these groups. See if it works for you. Trial and error.

**Holly Wyatt:** Yeah. And a lot of people concentrate on the people in their life that aren't doing what they want. And I'm saying, no, you don't have to concentrate on them. You don't have to do anything about them if you don't want to concentrate on adding or spending more time with the people that are, right? That's that mind state coming out. It's the journey so much better. And it's one of the reasons why I have really moved to support our group based programs, because you can start putting those people together and naturally finding some, some connections instead of individual programs where then it can be a little bit harder. You can do it. Absolutely. But it's not ready made. Sometimes in a group, you can start to really find those people easier.

**Jim Hill:** All right. Well, Holly, five great tips that people can use to make things easier. You still have to do a program. You still have to do the diet and exercise, but it doesn't have to be harder than it needs to be.

**Holly Wyatt:** Yeah. So Jim, I was going to ask you one question before we sum up a little bit. How do you sabotage yourself? And maybe it's not around your weight, but this, these work, and this is what I wanted to point out. These principles work with anything you're trying to change or work on.

**Jim Hill:** They do. You know, I was looking at that. And of the five, I think it's sometimes I make things harder than they need to be. Sometimes I put so much pressure to be perfect and I'm doing a grant or something and I put everything aside and concentrate on that. And I think that's something I could work on is it doesn't have to be that hard. It doesn't have to be that adverse. So that's one for me. How about you?

**Holly Wyatt:** You know, I think I worked on all of these, but the one that I still kind of come back to is that I think I have to do it alone, that I don't ask for help, that I don't necessarily seek out support, that I don't always use that maximally to help me succeed. Right. And so I have to remind myself that I do not have to do it alone. And in fact, Holly, if you are doing it alone, you may sabotaging yourself. And that gets me every time. I'm like, I do not want to sabotage myself.

**Jim Hill:** Well, I've loved this episode. I think these are really, really important issues that almost everybody going through a weight management program can address. Let's summarize the five, Holly, for our listeners. Number one, you face the wrong direction. Face towards success, not failure.

Number two, you do too much. It doesn't have to be that hard. You don't have to put your life on hold.

Make the journey interesting. Three, one of my favorites, you hide from yourself. You don't realize what your true identity is. Dig deep inside and see who you are. Are you an exerciser, a healthy eater?

You decide. Number four, it's not all about weight. It's about things other than weight. It's happiness. It's health. It's these things together. How you really enhance the quality of your life. And number five, don't do it alone. Find super friends, find people that value the same things you do and you'll find it's easier to do that.

**Holly Wyatt:** That's good. I love it. Run through that list.

**Jim Hill:** All right.

**Holly Wyatt:** Really some good stuff there, Jim.

**Jim Hill:** Good episode. So thanks everybody and we'll see you next time on Weight Loss And…

**Holly Wyatt:** Bye.

**Jim Hill:** Bye. And that's a wrap for today's episode of Weight Loss And… we hope you enjoy diving into the world of weight loss with us.

**Holly Wyatt:** If you want to stay connected and continue exploring the “Ands” of weight loss, be sure to follow our podcast on your favorite platform.

**Jim Hill:** We'd also love to hear from you. Share your thoughts, questions, or topic suggestions by reaching out at [weightlossand.com](http://weightlossand.com/). Your feedback helps us tailor future episodes to your needs.

**Holly Wyatt:** And remember, the journey doesn't end here. Keep applying the knowledge and strategies you've learned and embrace the power of the “And” in your own weight loss journey.